USELESS AH ME.

I'm working today and wake up from my bed first thing i think about is "yeay nary dapat jumpa bhy since dher da balik dary thailand!" Feel like jumping over joy. Call him several times but he never answer it. Maybe  , just maybe that i think he need a rest.

So decided to call haikal and he say let bhy rest since he just came back from thailand and he gonna be a little  bit of chronic if he came to work so i guess what he say is true and then bhy call and he say he wanna get change now to work but then i say it's okay since his voice sound so need a doctor so i let him rest whole day today. 

Go work as per normal . Feeling a bit down cause i thought i could feel the hug that bhy gonna give me today but no. I'm just so down. But yet i can manage myself. 1 week without him by my side i'm still alive , why can't 1 week 1 day without him i can't ? Right ? So i told myself not to panic since there's still tomorrow comes and i really hope i'm the first person he gonna meet after the thailand trip.

But then , he messaged me and say he gonna slack with his friend today and i feel so down. It's like i thought he would just have a rest at home and don't go anywhere and i thought i hope i'm the first person get to meet him but i'm wrong. 

Yet what's on my mind is that "i'm the 2nd person in his life ." Feeling down again and don't feel like texting him that point of time.

Well , i've realise i can't hope for thing's that might not be happening. I feel so sad yknow. Heart break sia. 2nd person in his life maybe ? . Clueless.

Let's wait for tomorrow comes. You will never know if i will be the 3rd person then.

Still , i loveyou . Even i feel so USELESS. Very useless.